I do not normally quote The Message. It is easy to read but it is still someone's interpretation and not a translation. But with that caveat, here is Hebrews 11:1 "The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see." The writer of Hebrews goes into a long list of "The Hall of Faith" of people who faced monumental and pivotal circumstances by faith. Situations that were larger than they could handle or imagine.
Would it surprise you that I struggle with faith? For those of you who really know me, that was a "duh" statement. Certainly we are sitting in an unanticipated journey in life. The psychologist connected with the Hematology Unit mentioned that people often struggle in many areas of life when faced with a significant illness and treatment. Killing off your bone marrow and having to develop a brand new immune system is certainly no small step. And to be told that this is not a cure, the cancer is expected to come back makes it even more significant. Is this bigger than we can handle or fully comprehend? You betcha!
We have little problem responding to this challenge with faith. A local physician remarked how surprised he was by Lucy's relaxed and calm demeanor on the day before her hospital admission. He understood what was before her. And, I suppose so did we. But God has cared for us so well for so long that the thought of His lack of, or inattention to care would be our experience. Certainly the process was unknown, but the Great Physician was not. Also, this illness was bigger and more complex than we could control. In essence it is easy to have faith in that situation.
Where I struggle is in the little things. Things where I could or feel I should be in control. Situations where I do have some competency. Things that seem much less monumental. It is easy to have faith in the things I cannot handle. But to have faith in things where I know I have competency, is such a greater challenge.
Today I sit in that situation. Faith that God will be glorified in and through Lucy's illness is not hard. That is a slam dunk prayer. Asking for God to get the glory is exactly what He wants. Not hard at all to live in faith there.
But this other is such a struggle. It is harder to have faith and to trust in the things unseen here. It is hard for me to grasp this handle of the unseen. Faith maybe should not differ. But I'm finding it does.
It hurts to struggle. It feels like failure when the faith does not naturally flow. Maybe faith should not differ, but in my experience it does. Certainly I would never be included in the Great Hall of Faith based upon my current response. It just does not cut it. Faith may not differ but certainly my reliance and implementation of it does. Will faith ever get to the point where it is not a struggle? I hope so, but fear not.
Would it surprise you that I struggle with faith? For those of you who really know me, that was a "duh" statement. Certainly we are sitting in an unanticipated journey in life. The psychologist connected with the Hematology Unit mentioned that people often struggle in many areas of life when faced with a significant illness and treatment. Killing off your bone marrow and having to develop a brand new immune system is certainly no small step. And to be told that this is not a cure, the cancer is expected to come back makes it even more significant. Is this bigger than we can handle or fully comprehend? You betcha!
We have little problem responding to this challenge with faith. A local physician remarked how surprised he was by Lucy's relaxed and calm demeanor on the day before her hospital admission. He understood what was before her. And, I suppose so did we. But God has cared for us so well for so long that the thought of His lack of, or inattention to care would be our experience. Certainly the process was unknown, but the Great Physician was not. Also, this illness was bigger and more complex than we could control. In essence it is easy to have faith in that situation.
Where I struggle is in the little things. Things where I could or feel I should be in control. Situations where I do have some competency. Things that seem much less monumental. It is easy to have faith in the things I cannot handle. But to have faith in things where I know I have competency, is such a greater challenge.
Today I sit in that situation. Faith that God will be glorified in and through Lucy's illness is not hard. That is a slam dunk prayer. Asking for God to get the glory is exactly what He wants. Not hard at all to live in faith there.
But this other is such a struggle. It is harder to have faith and to trust in the things unseen here. It is hard for me to grasp this handle of the unseen. Faith maybe should not differ. But I'm finding it does.
It hurts to struggle. It feels like failure when the faith does not naturally flow. Maybe faith should not differ, but in my experience it does. Certainly I would never be included in the Great Hall of Faith based upon my current response. It just does not cut it. Faith may not differ but certainly my reliance and implementation of it does. Will faith ever get to the point where it is not a struggle? I hope so, but fear not.
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